Monitoring your partner on Facebook and its social acceptability

The Study

In 2011, a study was conducted to analyze how many partners in a relationship monitored each other’s Facebook activity, and whether there were any psychological or demographic traits that could predict this behavior. It had a sample of 244 people composed of 190 females and 54 males. They were first given a questionnaire to determine their intentions, attitudes, subjective norms, and their own perceived control over their own behavior to monitor their partner’s Facebook. 68% of them completed the follow-up questionnaire, which was a report of how much they monitored their partner’s Facebook in the week that had passed. The results were pretty obvious but still interesting.

Apparently, an individual’s perceived self-control over monitoring their partners Facebook is not a strong indicator of one’s intentions or behavior. However, their attitude and subjective norm was. How they viewed partner monitoring, as well as how their peers viewed it, played a large role in the amount that they did. Obviously, if you and your friends view Facebook partner-monitoring as acceptable or good, you are more likely to do it. Self-esteem was not a large predictor either, but the amount that you trusted your partner was. The less trust you have in your relationship, the more likely you are to Facebook monitor. Similarly, the longer you have been in the relationship, the less likely you are to monitor. Demographic features such as age, gender and how long you typically spent on Facebook per login were not big indicators.

I think the study was done quite well, but I believe it would have been more accurate if there was a larger sample and an even number of males and females. Also, 75.5% of the sample was aged between 18 and 22. Although this is the most popular age to be using Facebook, I think it could have been interesting if older people were more included as well, to see if trust and Facebook-monitoring changed with age.

What does this mean?

            

Only 17.6% of the entire sample never monitored their partner’s Facebook. Most people did between one and five times a week, but there was 7% who checked their partner’s Facebook either daily or with every login. The fact that Facebook-monitoring strongly correlates with trust shows that this is not just people being curious with their girlfriend or boyfriend’s life. This is people trying to check on each other, to see what the other person has been up to without them actually telling you. I think this is unhealthy for a relationship and what is more scary is that it seems to be socially acceptable! There are articles on the Internet that give Facebook stalking “tips” and other ones that slip in recommendations to check out your significant other’s Facebook friends. However, for the really excessive partner-monitoring, there are people who see a problem in it, such as this woman who asked a relationship coach for help. I agree with the coach, Virginia Clark. Monitoring your partner on Facebook is self-destructive and can only cause more harm than good. Sure, you may find out something that, in the end, you will be glad that you knew but what if you don't? All of this obsessive behavior with nothing but lost time and, if your partner becomes aware, problems in the relationship. 

Is it Facebook or is it us?

I think this shows that social networks and the information on them can be used in a way that is not good for our personal lives, but I also think this lies in the people themselves. Before Facebook-monitoring, we were reading each other's e-mails and text messages. Before that, we were reading each others letters and diaries. Now people are doing a combination of all of this. Facebook does not make people more privacy-invading, it just makes it much easier to do so. This article in the Telegraph shows that, in a sample of 2,000 people, 58% of Britons have snooped on at least two exes on Facebook. However, it showed that 48% of them also read their partner's e-mails and 39% had spread rumors as "revenge" on an ex. Maybe it is not the social networks that need to change but the people themselves. Does the ease of invading your loved one's privacy justify the act of doing it? I do not think so. I believe people need to reevaluate their values as well as those of their partner's.